A few days ago I was reading UNCLE JOHN’S AHH—INSPIRING BATHROOM READER published by the Bathroom Readers’ Institute.

In a few days my feet will have the privilege of touching British soil for the first time in my life. I’m excited! Should you happen to be in one of the areas where I will be, it would be great to have the opportunity to meet you. Here’s the schedule:

I wonder if there is any other noun in the English language that has been used as much as “shit.” If the actual number could be known, it might surpass the grains of sand on all the beaches of the East and West Coasts of the United States.

I think it was a Supreme Court Justice who once said, “I know that in eleven months I can do twelve months work; but I also know that in twelve months I can’t do twelve months work.”

When I was in Olympia, Washington, last year I had the privilege of meeting the parents of Rachel Corrie. Rachel was a young woman who was killed by an Israel bulldozer in 2003 as she stood in front of the home of a Palestinian family she knew in the Gaza Strip.

I have only visited Paraguay once—in 1985. It was an offer that I couldn’t refuse.

I have just finished reading INTERPOL’s report on the computers that the government of Colombia says it found in an encampment of the FARC-EP on March 1. Reading the report I am once again fascinated with what experts can do with computers. But I am shocked that the world’s best known detective agency cannot add three plus three.

Thousands died recently in the cyclone that hit Myanmar. The government said that it would accept foreign aid. That seems logical and humane. It also said that it was not interested in certain foreigners accompanying the aid. That seems strange. Unless…

Today I swept and mopped the floor. I used scouring powder to clean the bathroom sink, toilet and shower. I did what is called in Spanish “limpieza” or “cleaning.”

But when I heard the word “limpieza” yesterday I shuddered. The person saying the word was coming from Colombia and was speaking about what he felt was necessary to bring peace to the country.